At risk of being victim of the Consumerist “Christmas Creep,” I am going to talk about becoming an Elf on Santa Lane.
I know it is only the very beginning of November, but truth be told, elves have to begin Christmas preparation many months before actual Christmas begins. Just imagine, all that paperwork, changing addresses, checking over the list, checking the list twice, and not to mention all those toys!
For the past few years I have dreamed of being an elf at one of the Santa Lanes. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anywhere in Boston that was looking to hire elves. Now that I have moved back to Seattle, I have many options of Santa Lanes to choose from. My favorite is the Nordstrom Santa Lane. Yesterday I called Store 1 and asked the operator: “Hi, do you know how I become an Elf on Santa Lane?” She promptly transferred my call to the man who was in charge of the elf work force. Unfortunately, he wasn’t named Santa or Nick. So, I am assuming he must be a nephew or Santa’s intern. On the bright side, he too was very excited by my interest in becoming an elf.
I explained why I had never been an elf before and why I was excited to soon become one. He then directed me to the dreaded job site. Ah yes. I’ve been here before. Oh, and one of the questions was literally, “How many years of seasonal experience do you have in a professional Santa Claus Helper role?” You have to love that. Except for currently the job site has all my real internship experience already loaded in my account and what Santa really cares about is if I am capable of working on a team and with children. Load up the babysitting experience… the Sunday School teaching experience… anything else? Well, I’ve volunteered and problem solved and organized… I guess I’ll put all that in the cover letter. Yeah. That’s right. I wrote a cover letter to become an Elf.
At least I had fun doing it. Although, my over-thinking has got me worrying now that my enthusiasm and Christmas related puns that run throughout the cover letter will be taken as a lack of understanding of the seriousness of the position I am applying for. Meanwhile, Saint Nick is patiently awaiting my information to make its way through the maze that is HR and arrive on his desk. (Do they actually print stuff out or is it just some sort of email notification these days?) In any case, I hope to hear from Father Christmas about my new position as an Elf in the next few days. Of course, I will keep you notified of my Elfhood status.
In the mean time, I will be brushing up on all things Christmas and of course on one of my favorites: the Barenaked Ladies’ Elf’s Lament. Please enjoy below:
Your soon to be Elf-ed friend, Maggie B.